Geese, etc.

2/23/14

Happy Sunday, friends and neighbors!

Bill S. from Old Hickory asks:
Dear Athyrio;
What can they do about the plague of Snow Geese at Reelfoot Lake?  I have an army of grandsons who live over there, but apparently they don't have a solution.  Are Snow Geese good to eat?  You got any recipes?  I hear that there is no limit, and there are no gun or ammo restrictions on harvesting said geese.

Dear Bill;
This is a complicated battery of questions.  But, since I know you, I will go ahead and answer it in detail.  I'll start off with addressing the harvesting issue.

You'll need two 60mm mortar tubes, several mortar rockets, electric firing mechanism, 100 yards of thin cable, and a badminton net big enough to cover the playing surface of an NFL football field.  You'll also need a crew of at least five men (or good stout boys who will do as they're told - maybe your grandsons).  Two of the men will need shotguns, and a third will need a high-powered rifle.

Wire the mortar triggers to the electric firing mechanism.  Take the road in toward the refuge fields at Walnut Log.  Drive (or walk) out to the old bug house field.  Position the two mortar tubes about 100 yards apart in an east-west line, and station one of the shotgun wielders next to each tube.  Position the rifle man at the truck: he is your lookout.  Since there is only one road, and since this is Walnut Log, one lookout should be sufficient

Stretch the cable between the mortar tubes, and tie it off to a long edge of the badminton net.  Secure each end of the cable to the nose of a mortar rocket, and insert the rockets into the mortar tubes, tail end down.  Otherwise, it won't work.  The fourth and fifth men will be the mortar firing team.  They are both to scan the skies, probably to the north.  This will require some patience.

When the geese start milling around, they will fly in bunches.  Your crew will be watching for big low flying bunches of geese that are traversing the area between the mortar tubes.  If the one who doesn't have the firing switch sees them first, he needs to let the trigger man know that he needs to fire the mortars.

The mortars should launch simultaneously straight up, carrying the cable and the badminton net up with them.  The geese will fly into and be trapped inside the net.  This is when your shotgun men commence firing.  The ones that are trapped will be easy targets.  The ones that are free and unharmed will escape.  When the shotgun shells are exhausted, just pull them from the net and wring their necks.

You should have about one pickup truck load of geese by now.  If you want more, just repeat the process.  When your lookout back at the truck gives the 'all clear', set up and fire again.

Now, about cooking recipes.  Make sure the feathers and innards are removed.  Otherwise, they won't taste right.  You can A) roast them like you would a turkey or another kind of goose, B) fry them in a turkey fryer, or C) use Ma Fickle's old coot recipe.  Roasting and frying recipes are available in abundance.  Ma Fickle's coot recipe is as follows: Rub the bird with salt and pepper.  Put a red clay brick into the hollow of the bird's carcass, and load it into a dutch oven.  Place all of this into an oven, and heat to 250 degrees Fahrenheit.  Leave all of this in the oven until the brick is soft.  Throw away the coot, and eat the brick.

AJ
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For those who visit Reelfoot Lake from remote parts, call Jan or Randy Dyer at the Eagle's Nest Resort in Samburg, Tennessee.  You can reach them through this web site http://www.eaglenestresort.com/ , and they will hook you up!